Bexton Primary's First Class Blog

Iris’s Journey to Africa

Iris is the Osprey in the amazing book ‘Sky Hawk’ by Gill Lewis. This writing has been inspired by the long journey Iris makes from Scotland to the Gambia.

61 Comments

  1. Ellie Sophie

    March 7, 2014 @ 10:38 am          Reply

    We are delighted to have an author on our blog and we have really been enjoying your book Sky Hawk it is amazing :mrgreen:

  2. Gill Lewis

    March 6, 2014 @ 11:04 pm          Reply

    Dear pupils of Bexton Primary,
    Thank you for sharing your descriptive writing pieces based on Iris’s journey through the desert. I’ve really enjoyed reading all of them. You’ve captured the feeling of being in the desert too.
    Hope you see some ospreys returning to England in March and April…they’ll be arriving soon.

    Best wishes

    Gill Lewis

    • Alicia and Daisy

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:16 am          Reply

      We are hounered to have a response from our favourite author Gill Lewis.

      Thank you for reading our writing.

      :mrgreen:

    • Harrison & Oliver

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:20 am          Reply

      Thanks for the comment and looking at our writing Gill Lewis ! 😆

    • Anna and Annie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:21 am          Reply

      We have enjoyed reading Sky Hawk. We can’t wait to finish the book, to see what happens to Iris. Everybody is enjoying sky hawk. Some people are even reading moon bear and white dolphin. Weare very sad about what happened to Iona.

    • Morgan+Sam

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:25 am          Reply

      Thank you for coming on to our school blog, and we are very motivated by your comment. :mrgreen:

    • Holly

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:25 am          Reply

      Thank you Gill Lewis everyone was very happy that you replied back and we also love your books like Sky Hauk and White Dolphin.

    • Mollie and Libby

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:27 am          Reply

      Thank you very for the amazing comment on the blog. We are honoured to have this from you. We are all delighted. Thank you very much

    • Ciara and Daisy

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:30 am          Reply

      Thank you for reading our writing about the desert.

    • Charlie 3

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:31 am          Reply

      Thank you so much Gill Lewis.What you put has made most of our days. Just one question what inspired you to become a writer?

    • Louis

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:33 am          Reply

      I am speechless that you blogged at Bexton and replied to us. I hoped you liked mine and Liam’s story. What inspired you to be a writer? I am enjoying sky hawk.

    • Imogen&Maddie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:37 am          Reply

      Thank you for reading our writing Gill Lewis you really did make our day we hope you write more books that we can enjoy we really love Sky Hawk
      :mr green:

    • Liam

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:37 am          Reply

      I am so happy you posted on our website!!!! :mrgreen:

      I am enjoying sky halk a lot! It is extremely sad 😥

    • Charlie 2

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:40 am          Reply

      Thanks I am extremely happy that you posted to our blog

    • Jodie and Rachael

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:43 am          Reply

      We are really enjoying the book sky Hawk .It was really sad that Iona died from menonjitos! We can not wait to see what happens to Iris in the end. Thank you so much for commenting on our bexton blog it has really made our day

  3. Mrs Sach

    March 6, 2014 @ 8:51 pm          Reply

    Well done Year 5, you have written really well, choosing your words carefully and trying hard to be more descriptive in your settings.

    Continue to describe characters and settings in detail and try to use complex sentences to add more detail.

    I am looking forward to doing some more paired writing next week with you all.

  4. Jodie and Rachael

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:49 am          Reply

    I flew towards the scorching hot sun. Determined to keep going. The heat beating down on my silky featherd head. With the blazing heat bouncing off my head , whilst breaking a sweat. As I glided threw the coulerless air I spotted a glimmering sight , it was an Oasis. I swooped and sward down … Down … Down to the huge Oasis. I perched on a grey bumpy bolder and sat down to have a drink in the deep waters of the Oasis.

    I wonder if that Boy who saved me from my death is ok. I miss the lushouis green grass and the towering , tall bark trees. I stretched my long feathered wings as I was eager to get out of the dry , hot desert because summer in Gambia has just started!

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:23 pm          Reply

      I really like ‘through the colourless air, I spotted a glimmering sight. It was an oasis.’

      Could you add one more sentence about what Scotland was like?

    • Jodie and Rachael

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:32 am          Reply

      The dotted tall trees reflected in the calm waters , whilst Iris drank from the deep waters of the loch!

  5. Alfie Charlie s. matthew

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:37 am          Reply

    Despite the fact it was flaming hot I still kept going across the deserted land of sand.in the horizon I thought about the Scottish lochs and the juicy,succulent fish as I flew over the sand.

    As I flew over the prodigious golden sand dunes I spotted a humungus boulder and I swooped down to take cover from the blazing sun for a minute.as I took cover with blood pouring from my furry, sticky leg. I thought of Callum it was echoing through my small,compact brain.finally I set off once more it was heaven I found a luscious oasis.

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:26 pm          Reply

      I really like ‘Despite the fact it was flaming hot, I still kept going across the deserted land of sand.’

      Could you change the word ‘prodigious’and ‘humungus?’

    • Alfie. Charlie s. Matthew

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:30 am          Reply

      The gleaming sun reminded me of scotland , and the water reflecting in my eyes

  6. Charlie 2

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:36 am          Reply

    Iris was desperately determined to keep going. iris slowly flew towards the blinding sun. The suns heat made Iris’s silky feathers dry up. Iris was lost, she couldn’t see because the scorching sun was too bright for her to see. iris looked at the golden sand below her was an old tree. Beyond that was a small, swampy oasis. Iris flew over the pebbly beach’s she saw people canoeing in the shallow rivers. She found a jungle she nested her self on a tree she wrapped her self in a ball and slept. In the morning she went hunting it was hard work but she got something in the end. later there was a poacher and he tried to shoot iris but he just about missed iris flew back to her nest. She nested there until… She got woken up by a predator bird and they had a battle. iris flew miles away, then she was lost in the middle of the Sahara.

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:28 pm          Reply

      I really like all your description of the desert, e.g. small, swampy oasis.

      Remember to use a capital letter for Iris.

  7. Daisy and Ciara

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:35 am          Reply

    Determined to carry on flying through the endless desert I soared towards the blistering sun. Burning my head,the sun shone above the horizon. Beneath me was the soft ridged sand. Puzzled by my bearings I was lost after the storm knocked me off course. As the wind drifted through the air ,it brought me with it too. The sand was like a labyrinth around me. Out of the distance there was a strip of water which lead to a massive oasis. Diving for the fish, reminded me of my home in Scotland. I was about to give up until, I remembered the time where Iona and Callum were watching me at the Loch so I was determined to carry on for them.

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:29 pm          Reply

      I really like your description of the desert- ‘soft, ridged sand’

      Could you describe Scotland so that I can imagine what it was like?

    • Daisy and Ciara

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:24 am          Reply

      Whilst searching for fish in the oasis she pictured the gentle flowing waters of the Scottish Lochs.

  8. Imogen & Maddie

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:31 am          Reply

    Determined to keep on going Iris glided towards the scorching hot sun,sweat pouring down her face.
    The roasting heat burned into her feathers she gazed down at glistening gold,wavy sand leading endlessly into the distance below her.Puzzled by the mysterious sights she swooped Down and dug her talons into the deep,blue oasis,she suddenly remembred a boy holding out his hand a gentle breeze calmed down her feathers that were,burnt and dry the feeling told her to keep going,it was like the boy was still here with her.

    Sparkling deep blue locks glistened as the the fishes swan swiftly and the wind howled, a boy stood in the distance
    Calling her name, iris lifted away into the air once more, will her memories keep her going?

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:30 pm          Reply

      Well done girls- a subordinate clause in the first sentence, can anyone else spot it?

    • Imogen&Maddie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:20 am          Reply

      Calling her name Iris lifted away into the air once more.

    • Imogen&Maddie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:32 am          Reply

      All of a sudden a gentle breeze past by her, she was in Scotland again.

      All of a sudden a gentle breeze past by her, she remembered the glowing embers of the low sun and the endless green and purple hills.

  9. Harrison & Oliver

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:30 am          Reply

    Determined to keep going I beat my wings as if my life depended on it. The desert seemed to stretch on forever and my feathers brittle from the sun. I was lost, the storm had knocked me off course and now the desert was a dangerous labyrinth. The sand was rippling like the waves at sea and I remembered my old eyrie in Scotland.

    The chilled night air slapped me in the face as the water glistened in the moonlight. My eyrie swayed in the wind.

    There was a small oasis in the distance with lush greenery and small pools of fish.

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:32 pm          Reply

      I love your opening sentence! In fact the whole first paragraph is fantastic.

      Could you improve your description of Scotland?

    • Harrison & Oliver

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:28 am          Reply

      As I drank from the oasis pools, I remembered the waters glistening in the strange half-light of the moon in Scotland.

  10. Holly

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:28 am          Reply

    Determined to keep on going Iris flew towards the scorching hot sun, the heat was beating down on Iris’ head sweat poured down Iris’ feathery head.Puzzled by the myestrious sight her swollen claw dug into the hot golden sand there was no tree in sight or shelter.The blinding sun got in her way as she shuffled the heat burned into her skin she stared at the swallow cold oasis . The vast landscape of Scotland reflected on the aqua blue water in her vision she could see towering trees and the wind howling as the fishes swam across the loch.Iris was determined to get to the end but something inside her told her she had to go back now…

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:33 pm          Reply

      Brilliant! I love your description of Scotland. I think I would change the word ‘vision’ for ‘imagination.’

    • Holly

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:23 am          Reply

      The endless grassy green hills towered over Iris ,whilst she flew across the waving trees as the gentle glow of the sun reflected on the still peaceful loch that was filled with life she felt like the vast landscape was a painting by a famous artist.

  11. Liam & Louis

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:27 am          Reply

    Determined to keep going, Iris flew towards the blinding sun. The scorching heat burnt her feathers. Lost in thought Iris looked below at the golden sand dunes; feeling exhaustion after the many miles she travelled. Below her she saw a welcoming tree.
    Beyond that an oasis flowing with life. A glimpse of the horizon appeared. Then Iris remembered Scotland and the succulent fish she dug her talents into.

    The vast landscape of trees and rivers flew through her mind and the flash backs of the boy who let her free from the fishing line

  12. Ellie Sophie

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:27 am          Reply

    Determined to keep going, Iris swiftly swooped side to side, heading towards the scorching sun in the endless desert.Iris was lost after bieng blown over by the mighty sand storm. All of a sudden she remembered Callum and her cosy eyrie in Scotland and all of the lush trees and grass. As she was flapping her wings aggressivly, staring at the golden sand-dunes. Then she spotted an oasis in the distance. She looked relieved whilst she was hurrieng to reach the oasis.n

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:36 pm          Reply

      What a brilliant first sentence? I also like how you described Scotland.

      I think I would consider changing the word ‘aggressively’- what do you think?

    • Sophie Ellie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:31 am          Reply

      We would change aggressively to elegantly.
      This is our improved sentence,
      I was just thinking about the lush, rolling hills in Scotland.

  13. Sam+Morgan

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:24 am          Reply

    Keep going; can’t beat me now. Wings flap. I gradually get closer to the blazing sun. Puzzled by my bearings, I glared down at the endless road of sand below me. My wings are weights pulling me down as I feel the exhaustion wave over me! Beneath me I could see branches waving at me.
    At first I thought I was imagining, but this was reality… A huge pool of succulent fish. With an outrim of lush grass circling the oasis.
    I think back to the mountainess grass lands of Scotland, and the boy who saved my life, whith the girl I will never see again.
    I circle the oasis time and time searching for my prey!
    🙂 😀 BY SAM AND MORGAN

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:38 pm          Reply

      Well done boys- I like how you’ve tried out two short sentences linked by a semi-colon.

      A lovely description of that oasis too!

      I’d like more description of Scotland- what do you think?

    • Morgan+Sam

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:21 am          Reply

      I think back to the glowing embers of the low sun in the north lands.

  14. Anna and Annie

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:23 am          Reply

    While I passed the desert the walm breeze blew in my feathery face. As I flew past the flowing water, I felt the sand hit my face. It was a sand storm! I fort my way through the storm, but it was still hard going to get through. My wings were exhausted but I had no choice but to keep on going. The cold wind whispered in my ears,and it reminded me of my old home by the loch in Scotland. Finally, I had managed to fight my way through the firce sand storm. I was nearly there… I looked below me as I heard loud banging.IT WAS A POACHER!!! Unfortunately he saw me and in a flash I was lifeless!

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:40 pm          Reply

      I like ‘As I flew past the flowing water, I felt the sand hit my face.’

      Change ‘fort’ to ‘fought’ and could you describe Scotland more?

    • Anna and Annie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:36 am          Reply

      After a while I got tired so I swooped down onto a branch and I felt the cold breeze brush past my face. As I sat on the branch, it reminded me of the endless flowing waters of the loch in my old home,Scotland.

  15. Libby and mollie

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:23 am          Reply

    I was determined to keep going, I quickly flew towards the flaming sun, whilst my heart is pumping like mad, whilst my face was sizzerling in the boiling hot sun, as my wings started to ake. The sand blew in my face it has been heated up by the fiery sun.
    But I was clueless. Where am I? I must of been knocked off by the sandstorm. I felt fear, but excausted at the same time. But just then, out of the blue I saw a colossal tree. Amazingly, behind the tree there was a massive oasis.
    MY LIFE IS SAVED!!!!!

    “Iris” I hear a soft magical call from far away. I saw a face of a boy, he looked femiler. His pale hand came towards me. A gentle breeze came around us, However it cooled my burnt feathers down. But know I have the strength to continue.

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:42 pm          Reply

      I like how you’ve written in first person and asked questions.

      Look at your first sentence- has it got too many commas and too many ‘whilsts?’

    • Libby and mollie

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:24 am          Reply

      Whilst I was sitting on a branch, a memorie came to my mind, I remembered bright green leaves and and Rocky Mountains.

  16. Alicia and Daisy

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:22 am          Reply

    I flew. The cool breeze rushed past me whispering in my ear and motivating me. “Keep going, your almost there.” My heart thumped like a wild animal locked up in my rib cage. The blazing sun above me began to burn my oily feathered wings.

    Below me the endless rolling sand dunes, were rippled by the movement of the wind. A bolt of exhaustion struck my body.

    A glimmer of light reflected in my eyes from the distant horizon. I flew some more, and I beheld the sight of a beutiful, turquoise oasis. I took a sip of the pure water and my life flashed before me, as the cool water reminded me of the gentle lochs of Scotland, that flowed past my eyrie. The memories of the young boy who saved my life when I was in danger, still my mind remembers…

    This was a tweaked passage from the book Sky Hawk by the amazing author Gill Lewis. :mrgreen:

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:46 pm          Reply

      I love the simile- ‘My heart thumped like a wild animal locked up in my rib cage.’

      Watch your spelling of ‘beautiful’ and consider changing the phrase ‘still my mind remembers’ – maybe same words, different order? What do you think?

    • Alicia and Daisy

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:23 am          Reply

      Whilst I took a sip from the cool calm water, I remembered the gentle breeze swaying the trees that were reflected in the water.

      :mrgreen:

  17. Charlie

    March 6, 2014 @ 10:19 am          Reply

    Despite the extreme weather Iris was determined to keep going.As Iris looked down she saw the vast endless landscape of yellows gold sand dunes with only specs of trees and the ecsional camel.After a while,Iris felt dizzy and sick.Suddenly she saw water,but it was just an illusion .

    Iris was puzzled and clueless.She had been nocked of course by a vicous,frightful sand storm.Just as she thought she didn’t have the strength to carry on she spotted it.the cold deep blue oasis .The refreshing water reminded her of the loch and the palm trees were like the lushes,green trees back in Scottland .Suddenly a voice.”Iris! That should be her name!Soon after Iris felt down hearted and depressed .

    • Mrs Sach

      March 6, 2014 @ 8:48 pm          Reply

      I like ‘vast endless landscape of yellows, golden sand dunes with only specs of trees and the occasional camel.’

      Watch out for the silent letter in ‘knocked’

    • Charlie 3

      March 7, 2014 @ 10:26 am          Reply

      The palm trees reminded her of the tall, towering,lushes green trees and the water of the blue,deep,life full loch was also a treasured memory.

      (Improved sentence)

Leave a comment

XHTML: Allowed tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

  • Recent Comments

  • Visitors

  • Meta

  • November 2017
    M T W T F S S
         
     12345
    6789101112
    13141516171819
    20212223242526
    27282930